


Day 1: Loser

by roni2690



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Everyone is Dead, Inktober 2019, Love is hard, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, r+e
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 06:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roni2690/pseuds/roni2690
Summary: Cuz ink doesn´t mean drawings. Inktober on stephen king´s "IT"  it´s all based on the "loser" subject, in wich Richie discovers just how much of a loser he really is, he tries to get a date instead--he gets a full (dirty) stack of playboys and a broken heart.It is kinda sad, but I promise it will get better and fluffier and cuter.RichiexEddie and yes, the kissing bridge does makes an appearance.





	Day 1: Loser

Loser

"when you are a loser you don´t have anything to lose"

_Liar._

_Such a fuggin liar._

_I have so much to lose._

_If I ever where to utter the truth...I´d lose you guys...I´d lose him._

Finally. Finally! After one entire long and hot as Satan’s arse summer working cutting grass, taking out trash and moving boxes, he fucking finally had enough cash to ask him out...Like in, asking casually if he wanted to tag along to a movie or two...popcorn? soda? Hey, no problem. I've got money.

Eddie! Hey, Ed! - Ed approached Richie with a strange grin on his face. He rarely smiled, never smirked, so what was it with that look on his face? he looked...smug?! Meh, whatever, it was now or never. He was going to a movie with Eddie-kiss-the-asthma-out-my-lungs-Kaspbrak.

-Guess what

-What?

-I´m about to steal all your money

-Oh, are you? -Richie put up his hands on an oh-so-false-sign of surrender- Please have mercy

-Come on!! I -need- the money and the stuff is good- With a deep sigh, Richie complied and follow his friend along the street. He had suspected he liked his best friend for a little while now, just about all of his life. Ever since they met at playschool. He used to tell his imaginary friend that he was going to marry him one day. Fuck, don´t think that so loud! It´s impossible, it´s no sense, he-doesn't-like you...right? All those times he held your hand he was just being a little six-year-old, seven years, eight…nine. Yes…He hasn´t done it in a while. No, not since Eddie stopped thinking of himself as little. 

Eddie was taking him to his place, not his house exactly, somewhere near where they sometimes played far away from his mothers’ eyes. Played alone, said the stupid voice in-between his head and his heart. Yes. Alone. Sometimes we liked better being alone. Stop nagging me. I want to see what is that he’s going to show….me….

-Playboys? you found...Playboys. -he tried to sound surprised, amazed...please oh lord, let him sound the littlest bit interested on naked _-ladies-_

-yes! and they can be yours for... -he checked a little notebook that he produced out of his fanny pack- 5 dollars ...and a piece of your mums’ cake.

-weren´t you five dollars short for that cassette player you wanted?

-...you want them or not trash mouth? I can take my business elsewhere

_Oh, Eddie_

-Kaspbrak...Have a brain! no-one is going to buy these! They´re---ew, smudged...DID U USE THEM!?

Red as a stop sign, almost gasping for air. Oh, he had used them...oh...he _had_ used them...Fuck.

_So. He likes girls. Don´t act so surprised Tozier…You knew he did. Don´t act as if your heart is breaking. What heart anyways! Trash mouths like yourself have no heart, just a baste amount of jokes._

-...For god’s sake Eddie -he gave him a fist full of money, his date money. (What good was it now anyways) and took the stack of playboys- see ya later, yea?

Eddie said something back, or at least Richie thought he did. It was hard to hear anything through the sound of his heart on his ears, blood just thumping bang-weirdo-bang-freak-bang-alone-BANG-LOSER

"He´s never going to love you, trash mouth."

His own voice shouted hard in his dreams, every night for a week. He cried, when he knew nobody would be listening, washed his face every morning and went out trying not to bump into him. He didn´t want to see him, not for a while. Not alone.

-Trash mouth!!!

Eddie´s voice over the sound of a beaten old radio, he was reading comic books on his front yard, the music courtesy of a nearby garage sale. Ed held triumphant the cassette player. He wanted to be mad at him, but couldn´t. Not really, not with him. He smiled sweetly at Eddie. Not that he noticed that small but important detail.

-So, you got it. Nice job, and all it cost you was your dignity.

-Beep beep Richie- he sat next to him, going through the comics -mom got it for me... like as a present...

-Oh...good...great edds...

-Wanna go to the movies? It´s too hot to be out. There´s one with a monster on it, maybe it´ll be as ugly as you

-Sorry, I'm broke

-My treat. I have your money anyways...

Words, Richie. Words, he´s expecting, ney, waiting for you to use words, words in actual fucking English. TALK YOU, IDIOT!!! Say something!

-Ah...

-Good, let’s go, don’t wanna be late. oh! and you´re lending me this

He gave him the comic, went to the movies with him, eat candies and ice cream, walked him home afterward---he stood with him at his front door...Maybe he could...

-It was fun Richie.

-yeah! mummies...not scary at all. Big rolls of walking toilet paper! Funny!-no, it wasn´t. It was a weak-ass joke, Richie. Your head isn´t in the game, it´s in his eyes, and mouth and---Fuck Eddie, please don´t, don´t look at me like that. It hurts, hurts so bad.

-See you tomorrow trash mouth- and as he was about to say something back, he kissed him. Not on his lips, but not right on his cheek neither. Just in that space in between that made him wonder, made him hope. That made him go insane with hope and wanting.

As Richie pedal his way back home, he found himself staring at the kissing bridge that pile of half-rotten wood that somehow managed to stay put. Hundreds of letters, hearts and long-ago forgotten promises carved into it.

He was a loser

He had lost himself in the love he had for him.

And Richie Tozier knew then, as he touched the spot on his face were Eddie caressed his skin with trembling lips, that for a loser, he had far too much to lose. 

\- I´d die if I lose you, Eddie.

As he stepped away from the fence and looked down at the two letters separated by a plus sign, Richie felt -and not for the first time- that he was being watched. It didn´t matter though, he was sort of proud of that tiny trace of honesty. He smiled, got on his bike and went on. Tomorrow, maybe tomorrow he´d let him know for sure, and then he´d tell Eddie the whole truth.

_Do you love me, Eddie?_

R+E


End file.
